The Fifth House: Party Up

5th-house-243x135You’re gonna love it here. The Fifth astrological House governs the activities and areas of life that most of us would consider to be fun or enjoyable. This would cover creativity, celebrations, holidays, gambling, passion, romance, sex, games, amusement, kids, and also represents what kind of parent you are if you have children. Some astrologers believe the Fifth House also governs the father/father figure, although that is up for debate and my personal stance on the matter is that dear ol’ dad is represented more in the Fourth House. It reveals how you express yourself creatively; for example, are you a painter or do you write poetry? Or maybe the proverbial cat has got your creative tongue so to speak, and you don’t really express yourself in an overtly-creative way; it’ll clue us in on that as well.

The Fifth House’s natural ruler is the spotlight-hogging sign of Leo, a proud, fun-loving fire sign. If you are looking at your Fifth House and it is completely devoid of any planets, asteroids, or nodes with nary a tumbleweed blowing through, it doesn’t indicate that you are a stick-in-the-mud dullard who can count on having a life sans excitement, entertainment, creativity, or sex (good GOD no!) It also doesn’t imply that your womb is dusty or that your testicles merely serve as decoration, destined for an infertile life, never to procreate and produce your very own young hellions or mini-yous. Remember: there are ten planets and twelve Houses (in astrology, the Sun and Moon count as planets.) There will be at least two empty Houses in everyone’s natal chart, and more often than not, more than two empties. In such a case, we can interpret the Fifth House’s meaning in your life by examining the qualities of its natural ruler, Leo, as well as the meaning of which sign rules the Fifth House in your own chart. As mentioned above, Leo is a fire sign and it is associated with traits such as pride, attention-seeking, egoism, and generosity, just to name a few. In an empty Fifth House, this can be translated in a nutshell to mean the native loves to throw extravagant parties, sparing no expense, or host huge holiday bashes, as they are very generous and always on the lookout for ways to let themselves shine. Conversely, an empty Fifth House could indicate that the life areas governed here simply aren’t a major focus for you. You might genuinely enjoy a friendly get-together or be a doting, devoted parent, but its not your main focus.

Other questions that can be answered by examining what is — or isn’t — in your Fifth House include in what way (or whether) you outwardly express your happiness, how you approach sex and romance (but not marriage, which is governed by the Seventh House of partnerships), and the way in which you are inspired by any of the Fifth House-ruled areas of your life.

So let’s take a look at the influence of each planet when its placement is in the Fifth House of fun and creativity.

2048299_origSun in the Fifth House
The Sun, planet of self and self-image, is where we shine. When its placement is in the Fifth House of all things fun, the native will have a tendency to try and be the center of attention in a lot of areas; for instance, as described earlier, by throwing over-the-top parties or anything that will grab attention. This individual is very competitive and their ego massive, and this is an ideal placement for anyone who is athletic or in the performing arts. That said, the Fifth-House-Sun can sometimes hog too much of the spotlight and because of their desire to stand out and to be numero uno in everything they do, their ego is easily bruised and when they don’t win they can become quite pouty and huffy, resulting in the (often accurate) perception that they are a sore loser. Even so, a Sun-in-Fifth native is generally cheerful and optimistic, which wins them attention. They are pretty original in their self-expression, which contributes to their sunny disposition. For this one, expressing themselves creatively is tied directly to an artistic interest (anything from poetry to acting to doodling) as well as to sex and romance, and they are probably up for almost anything in the bedroom. Children are front and center in the native’s life with this placement, be it their own little minions, nieces or nephews; perhaps even their students if the native is a teacher.

Moon in the Fifth House
The Moon is an emotional, nurturing planet that is prone to bouts of moodiness. In the Fifth House of fun, it gives an individual who loves sharing their innermost emotions with those close to them, often through poetry or some form of art. They typically take great pleasure in creating something for their loved ones; for example, they might build a piece of furniture as a gift, write a poem for their spouse, knit blankets for their children, or even paint a picture to present to someone. Whatever it is, it is a tangible symbol of the innermost feelings for those they care for. Although their approach to sex and romance is intense, the Moon’s influence here means their love affairs and sex lives ebb and flow like the tides, constantly changing. This doesn’t necessarily indicate that they will have multiple romantic partners; in fact, many times it just means the relationship in which they are involved undergoes more change than most, and that isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, these little changes can keep things new and fresh over the long-term. The native often feels like a child at heart or like they don’t want to grow up, and they have a particularly soft spot for children, regardless of to whom they belong. If the Moon is negatively aspected here, we will often see a Fifth-House-Moon who struggles with impulsive spending or a gambling addiction, or their romantic life might be unstable because of a tendency to seek happiness outwardly through a partner, which will never happen; the native’s lesson here is to realize — although they’ve heard it ad nauseam and it’s a tired cliche — that ultimately, they must look inwardly for happiness. This one can be overly dramatic and they are all but unable to quell their emotional responses to people or situations.

Mercury in the Fifth House
Planet of communication and short trips (ones not requiring an overnight stay), when Mercury is in the Fifth House of fun, the native Homer-Simpson-Pants-on-firetends to creatively express themselves using their voice or even in written communication. They are extremely witty and often have a talent for mimicry or impersonations, and this is a wonderful Fifth House placement for voice-over actors or comedians. They can be skilled liars as well (my apologies, but there’s no delicate way to put it) and have the ability to come up with some plausible stories, and life would be much easier for the rest of us if one’s pants actually did catch fire when being dishonest. This placement can also be indicative of someone who has more than one sex/romantic partner at once; therefore, that talent for lying and spinning believable tales can be invaluable when crafting an alibi. The native tends to bite off more than they can chew, resulting in promises that are ultimately unkept although malice is not usually intended in such instances. A Mercury-in-Fifth person must be first stimulated intellectually by a partner/potential partner to have a sexual attraction to them. Simply put: if the partner is an idiot incapable of engaging in intelligent, witty conversation, sex is off the table. This is a curious individual and a great placement for a teacher, as they take pride in their own children’s (if they have any) intellectual abilities and they love to communicate creatively.

setupromanticdinnervalentinesday1Venus in the Fifth House
Venus is the planet of love, beauty, and pleasure and when combined with the Fifth House of fun, we have a person who is in love with love. Charm is what attracts them first and foremost in a mate. Crudeness or vulgarity is an instant turnoff here. They find immense joy when their surroundings are beautiful or lavish, and this often plays into their date night scenarios as well as their sexual rendezvouses, whether they are single or spoken-for. Venus-in-Fifth natives are extremely loyal in love and make great long-term romantic partners. They are warm and loving, and devoted beyond question. If they have any children, Fifth-House-Venusians are fun yet nurturing parents who they take great pride in their children, at least one of whom will be a little charmer. The native has an artistic bent along with exquisite taste, but has a propensity toward overindulgence in anything they find pleasurable, such as food, sex, shopping, or anything else they consider to be fun. The lesson here? Too much of anything isn’t a good thing.

Darts-Trophy-Room-1024x768Mars in the Fifth House
In the Fifth House of fun, Mars, planet of assertiveness and action, gives an individual who expresses and directs a great deal of their creative energy by way of competitive sports or games. The native probably has shelves filled with trophies and walls lined with medals and ribbons from just about any sport you could think of. The planet of action in the House that governs creativity, sex, self-expression, and anything fun equals an individual with energy to spare in any of the areas ruled by this House…and yup, that includes sex. They have energy to spare and will wear your ass out in the bedroom (so to speak) and you will never be bored (woohoo!) However, the native is impulsive in matters of sex and romance which can result in multiple love affairs, as well as adrenaline junkies who find anything with an element of risk irresistible. The unofficial Mars-in-Fifth motto is: it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission, which sums up their impulsive nature quite nicely. If they have children, a Fifth-House-Martian is an active, involved parent whose children’s schedules are booked solid with a plethora of after-school and summertime activities and sports. My older son is a Mars-in-Fifth and while I can confirm that the unofficial motto above fits the boy to a tee and that he does love sports, having played on soccer and basketball teams in his school days as a young Sadge lad and still skateboards even today as a nearly-24 year-old man, we will just have to speculate (well, you will; I don’t want to) about his prowess and stamina behind the bedroom door. I won’t be hitting up my lovely Leo soon-to-be daughter in-law anytime soon for the scoop on that.

Jupiter in the Fifth House
Planet of luck and abundance, Jupiter expands whatever it touches. It also shows us in which area of our life we seem to attract luck. Jupiter in the Fifth House of all the fun things in life is indicative of someone who is seemingly insatiable, always wanting more, more, more. Jupiter’s “expansion” effect here means the native has unshakeable confidence in regard to everything this House governs: romance, sex, parties, celebrations, you name it. That isn’t all bad, but the Fifth House also covers gambling; therefore, this individual feels lucky and optimistic when it comes to wagers and takes more chances than someone else might take, which can (obviously) result in some pretty big losses. Any offspring of a Jupiter-in-Fifth will be pretty feisty but good-natured, particularly the first child or only child. The native expresses themselves boldly and oftentimes can be overbearing. They demostrate their confidence to such a degree that they are frequently perceived as egotistical…and that’s not wrong, as the ego in this one is ginormous. However, it’s important to note that Jupiter, if negatively aspected in the natal chart, can have a different influence on the native altogether.

Saturn in the Fifth House
Saturn, the planet that loves nothing more than to stick its figurative foot out in front of you so as to trip you, can make the areas of your life governed by the Fifth House of fun not so much fun at times. For example, Saturn doesn’t much care for spontaneity; therefore, the native probably doesn’t either. The native might be infamous for being a buzzkill or party pooper, which is no fun for the unfortunate romantic partner or buddy with whom they’re out on the town. Life is taken a tad too seriously by the Fifth-House-Saturnian, and they usually don’t prioritize anything enjoyable. They feel guilty for having a good time when they could be working or otherwise being productive. The lesson for the native with this Saturn placement is that the Universe will not implode if they let their hair down once in a while. Depending on how its aspected in the natal chart, another possible effect of Saturn in the Fifth House is social anxiety. There is a beneficial side to this House placement, however: patience. A Saturn-in-Fifth person has no problem taking their time when working on anything creative, and they are saints when it comes to children testing this patience (what’s it like to have patience?) Good thing: the kiddos of a Fifth-House-Saturnian, if they have any, often give their native parents more difficulty than usual.

Uranus in the Fifth House
Here’s a riddle: What do you get when you cross weird, strange, unusual, and eccentric with romance, sex, kids, and celebrations? Correct: a Fifth-House-Uranian! Uranus is the planet of individuality, eccentricity, and things that are just weird. When its placement is in the Fifth House, we have a native who loves, loves, loves to say or do things for shock value, just to get a reaction. Because the Fifth House governs sex and romance, you can count on teenage Uranus-in-Fifth to bring home some pretty bizarre dates or romantic partners. This one wants to be different solely for the sake of being different. As Jerry Seinfeld once said, not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just that if you are the parent of one of these young natives you should always expect the unexpected. The forward-thinking influence of Uranus also indicates that your teenage bundle of joy might be bringing home a romantic interest who is considerably older than they are, so consider yourself warned. Furthermore, the native can expect the same out of their children if and when they become parents. Any progeny of the native will likely also be remarkably intelligent yet unorthodox or eccentric. Are you familiar with the saying “there’s a thin line between genius and madness”? Whoever first uttered those words was probably talking about a Fifth-House-Uranian in their life. In any event, part of the Uranian influence is to bestow imaginative creativity and an enviable ability to easily adapt to different people and situations, which fits quite nicely in the House that covers romance, sex, parties, and anything else enjoyable.

Neptune in the Fifth House
Unless you have never before read my articles or you haven’t been paying attention, you are already aware of my feelings about cantseeNeptune. Its placement in the natal chart reveals where we are idealistic, where our dreams are. It’s also the rose-colored glasses-wearing-planet of denial, influencing us to see only what we want to see. In the Fifth House of things we enjoy including sex, gambling, romance, and kids, Neptune’s effect is to lend an imaginative bent to the personality. A Neptune-in-Fifth person wears those aforementioned rose-colored glasses when dreamily gazing at a romantic partner/potential partner which can result in a few possibilities. One, the native will gloss over any visible personality flaws, downplaying them nearly into nonexistence. For example: “So, she’s a convicted violent felon with a little meth problem. She committed that armed robbery more than five years ago but she had a good reason for doing it; and okay, so she’s a tweaker; at least she’s not a raging alcoholic, and she doesn’t even do it very often; I mean, once a day isn’t that bad, and after all, she does have a job, so what if it’s ten hours a week, it’s still something…” That’s a bit extreme, but you get the idea. Two, because this one only sees what they want to see, they might make more out of a sexual or romantic relationship than it actually is; for instance, while it’s painfully obvious to everyone else that the native’s other half is a lying, cheating douche, the native doesn’t (choose to) see it, and by avoiding this reality, they wind up staying way too long with someone with whom they aren’t truly happy. Now: take the same general idea from those two scenarios and apply it to everything governed by House Number Five. The Fifth-House-Neptune individual is a rescuer, so the more fucked up a love interest is, the better chance this one will be drawn to them like a magnet. The thing is though, the native needs this drama in their life, even if they don’t realize it, and even if they loudly declare their hatred of it from the eaves and the rooftops. Because Neptune governs orphanages, a Neptune-in-Fifth will frequently adopt a child. If they have biological children, you can bank on the oldest (or only child) frequently having their head in the clouds, daydreaming. My Cancer cusp man has this Neptune placement. He left his first wife only after denying to himself for well over a year that she was actually a “lying, cheating whore” (his words, not mine) who wasn’t in love with him. He didn’t want to believe it. Can you blame him? Although he “knew” (read: suspected) what was going on, it wasn’t until he got irrefutable evidence of her extramarital escapades (read: busted her in the act) that he was able to take off the rose-colored glasses and exit stage left.

Pluto in the Fifth House
You might remember from other House article that Pluto is a very intense planet of extremes. Wherever Pluto is placed in the natal chart shows us where in our life that there’s no halfway, no moderation of anything. It’s all or nothing, end of story. In the Fifth House of fun, which encompasses sex and romance, the native is usually either involved 100 percent with someone or completely uninvolved with anyone in any way whatsoever. Pluto encourages obsessive behavior wherever its placement is in the natal chart and when in the Fifth House, the native should be careful not to let themselves become obsessed with areas governed by this House. Examples include obsession with a romantic interest (stalker tendency here), gambling (for obvious reasons), and sex (I know, I know, but it really can become a problem if it spirals into a full-on addiction. Just ask David Duchovny.) It’s also possible, depending on aspects in the natal chart, that the native’s romantic interest could be the one who is prone to stalker-ish behavior, so they should be wary of this as well. As a parent, a Pluto-in-Fifth is intensely protective of their children, if there are any, and the firstborn (or only child) will either be a Scorpio or exhibit the traits of Scorpio — which, by the way, is Pluto-ruled. A Fifth-House-Pluto individual takes a deeply intense approach to fun and games, which yes, I realize using the word “intense” to describe fun and games sounds like a complete oxymoron. You’re right: it is. But this is a very passionate Pluto placement, and there is nothing half-assed about their approach to anything.


The Fourth House: Hi Honey, I’m Home!

homeRover, wanderer, nomad, vagabond
Call me what you will…
But I’ll take my time anywhere
Free to speak my mind anywhere…
And I’ll redefine anywhere, anywhere I roam
Where I lay my head is home.  Metallica – Wherever I May Roam

Welcome to the Fourth House! Come on in ‘n set a spell and I’ll give you the grand tour. This House covers many areas of life, the most obvious of which being your actual physical home, your refuge from the world, where you hang your hat and kick back and relax in the comfort of your personal space.

But wait: there’s more! The Fourth House also governs our parents and parenting in general, particularly the parent who was the lesser influence although some astrologers believe the Fourth House parent represented here is strictly the mother or mother figure, while others insist it’s the father/father figure. My personal view is it’s often both. But if your mom was MIA for whatever reason in your early years, the mother figure referred to in this House could also represent dad. Additionally, it encompasses our ancestry, traditions, and how we behave behind closed doors.

The Moon, ruler of the nurturing sign of Cancer, is the Fourth House’s natural ruler. Therefore, this House reveals our early nurturing as inthewombyoung-uns, going all the way back to our days in the womb prior to our birth. At the other end of the spectrum, the Fourth House shows us how or where we might find ourselves in our twilight years. The emotional Moon which naturally governs this House will indicate how we react emotionally to situations beyond our control.

So let’s say you’re reading through your natal chart and Oh. My. God: your Fourth House is completely empty. Vacant. Not a planet, node, or even an asteroid to be found. What gives? Does this mean you are destined for homelessness or perhaps a life as the crazy cat lady with no family whatsoever with the exception of your extensive clowder of feline companions?

Calm down. There’s no cause for alarm here. As mentioned in my previous House articles, there are ten planets (the Sun and Moon count as planets in astrology) and twelve Houses. It doesn’t take a degree in mathematics to conclude that everyone on the planet will have a minimum of two completely empty Houses, and quite often there will be even more than two empty Houses. In the case of a vacant Fourth House, meaning it is completely devoid of any planets, asteroids, or nodes, we would first take a look at which sign rules the Fourth House in your natal chart. For example, let’s assume you have an empty Fourth House which in your natal chart happens to be ruled by, say, Scorpio. We would then examine the qualities of a Scorpion, which include secretiveness, jealousy, possessiveness, highly sexual, and truth-seeking. Those qualities would be indicative of how you tend to approach Fourth House issues. In this hypothetical case, it might mean you were influenced more by the parent of the opposite sex, bucking tradition and rebelling against parts of your family life which you felt/feel don’t accurately represent who you are, and a strong desire to keep your family affairs private: there’s no airing of dirty family laundry with this one! While jealousy and grudges might have played or continue to play a big role in your home life, you are incredibly protective and will be the first to rush to the defense of any loved one who has been wronged in any way.

Alternatively, an empty Fourth House could mean that home and family life are not your top priorities in life. This isn’t to say you couldn’t care less about your family or your home, or any other issue governed by this House, it could be as simple as your home and family relationships are so perfectly harmonious that they don’t require your constant attention (although if Scorpio rules this House, the chances of complete harmony at home and/or with family are damn near nil.) Or it might indicate that you are more concerned with other areas in your life, such as your career or health.

Now, for those of us who do have planets here, let’s take a walk through the Fourth House and see how they affect you on a personal level.

fourthhouseSun in the Fourth House
Wherever the Sun is in the natal chart, it needs to shine. In the Fourth House, the Sun wants to be the decision-maker of the household and call all the shots. The Fourth House Sun individual insists on living in the most extravagant dwelling that finances allow and they love few things more than having friends or family over to bask in the glory of their abode. This one enjoys throwing parties and impromptu get-togethers simply for the thrill of showing off their home and everything in it. The native’s father was probably a very outgoing guy, unless there is an interfering aspect in the natal chart. A Fourth House Sun person might get off to a slow start in life but by later life they will usually find that their luck and prosperity increases and comes much easier than it did earlier on, but that fear of never having enough tends to linger due to that aforementioned slow start which is always in the backs of their minds. Family is of tantamount importance to the native, and they probably have a stronger-than-usual attachment to whichever parent was the primary caregiver in their childhood, regardless of whether the parent in question was loving and nurturing or nasty and hurtful.

Moon in the Fourth House
As I stated earlier in this article, the Moon is the natural ruler of the Fourth House, therefore it is exalted here. When the native is experiencing a bout of melancholy, they tend to hole up in their home, which is the equivalent of the figurative shell into which a Cancer (ruled by the Moon) reactively retreats when upset or depressed. The Fourth House Moon is prone to extreme mood swings with family beginning fairly early in life and often increasing in frequency and/or severity over the years. The native’s father or father figure was probably somewhat moody and in childhood, they likely felt as though they had to walk on eggshells around daddy, lest they trigger an emotional mood swing. This person prefers to live near the water, and either changes residences frequently or can often be found rearranging the furniture, sometimes to the chagrin of the rest of the family. In the instances where the Fourth House Moon moves often, it’s usually in an attempt to figure out where they belong, yet they inevitably (eventually) come to the realization that wherever they go, there they are. Whether male or female, the native frequently seeks out a partner who will mother them, as their actual mother/mother figure might not have been very emotionally demonstrative in her mothering.

Mercury in the Fourth House
Mercury is the planet of communication, and if you have this placement, ten bucks says that when you’re at home, you’ve got the TV or radio on, even if you’re not specifically watching or listening, simply for the background noise, even if you’re busy screwing around on the internet or even when you’re talking on the phone. Your dad/daddy figure was probably a nonstop talker or he was moving around a lot, perhaps for his career. As you enter midlife or later, you will likely find yourself writing or otherwise communicating more. Mercury is restless and a mover and this is yet another Fourth House placement that gives a native who packs up and moves more than the average person. Even if they don’t actually change physical residences, the home and family life are usually quite changeable. A Fourth House Mercurian’s ideal career would be anything involving travel, as this indulges their insatiable wanderlust. If Mercury is afflicted, the native probably won’t have children until they are well into their thirties or even forties, if they have children at all.

Venus in the Fourth House4house
Venus loves beauty and pleasure. When its placement is in the Fourth House, we’ll find the native has a quaint, cozy home that isn’t on the same grand show-offy scale as a Fourth House Sun’s home would be. This one has an uncanny knack for interior design with original, unique decor ideas and to them, indulging in items to adorn their charming little home is money well spent. The native’s father/father figure was likely a self-indulgent yet pleasant guy and the Fourth House Venusian’s childhood was probably a happy one. There is a tendency toward marked weight gain in a Fourth House Venusian, particularly as they advance in age. However, this Venus placement is actually a positive one overall, as family relationships, especially with parents, tend to be harmonious. The native doesn’t give their heart away easily but when they do, they really give it away and quickly become attached and emotionally dependent on their partner. Fourth House Venus is big on romance and they love spending a quiet evening at home with their significant other, sharing a simple dinner or cuddling on the couch enjoying a movie. In charts where Venus is afflicted, this could indicate divorce of the native’s parents or some other disruption of family life which the Fourth House Venusian doesn’t handle very well because by way of their peaceful nature, they shy away from conflict or discord of any kind.

Mars in the Fourth House
When Mars, the planet of assertiveness and aggression, is in the Fourth House of Home, this gives an individual who is extremely protective of their home and family. The native might have a tendency to swallow their anger, keeping it to themselves until one day — BAM! — every pent up emotion they have held inside comes at those unlucky enough to be around the native at the time. Alternatively, depending on other factors in their chart, their anger could manifest as passive-aggressiveness which really doesn’t do anyone involved any favors as it only serves to foster resentment.  The lesson here is for the Fourth House Martian to try and vent a little at a time rather than waiting for the inevitable full-on blow-up. The native probably didn’t/doesn’t get along too well with their father/father figure, who likely was/is an overbearing, aggressive guy and in some cases, perhaps even abusive, mentally and/or physically. Mars is an action-oriented planet and in their later years, the native will be still be running circles around others of similar age who are slowly getting from point A to point B by way of their Rascal scooters or being escorted through crosswalks by Boy Scouts.  Writer Robert Shanks once stated in American Astrology magazine that women with this Mars placement are unlikely to marry and if they do, more likely to divorce because the second they suspect any inkling of what they perceive to be male domination, they race for the door. I have this Mars placement and I’m twice-divorced, and not only am I the first one to admit I’m extremely passive-aggressive, I also hold things inside way too long and then I explode all over who happens to be nearest to me (usually my Cancer cusp man, the poor bastard; he’s almost always a saint about it because he knows how I am in that way.) My detached Virgo father would probably qualify as having been emotionally abusive to me, although I can promise you that was never his intent. I think he truly felt his incessant criticism of me and/or something I had done was to help me. Yeah, it didn’t really work out that way though.

wpid-senior-couple-sitting-on-the-beach.jpgJupiter in the Fourth House
Planet of luck and abundance, when Jupiter finds itself in the Fourth House of Home, this makes for one lucky son of a bitch. In childhood, they were either sans siblings or they were the favorite child, and the native will benefit in some way from their parents. They are the most likely to be ridiculously wealthy and retire to an extravagant Jupiter palace in an exotic locale at the ripe old age of 30. Even if they live alone, the native requires Jupiter Manor to be large, or at least have a lot of windows, and a beautiful view is a must because of a tendency toward claustrophobia. Fourth House Jupiter’s father was probably a pleasant enough guy but somewhat of a know-it-all. The native is generous and loves to be surrounded by friends and family at home and in fact, this one will likely have lots of children and/or grandchildren; if not, they will have otherwise enormous families, such as scores of cousins, aunts, and uncles.  If Jupiter is in retrograde in the natal chart, this will cause the individual to dwell too much on the past, kind of in a Pisces- or Cancer-esque fashion. Furthermore, any Jupiter affliction in the chart can bring issues with meddling in-laws to such a degree that it could create an irreparable marital rift. After you go to the Great Beyond, an afflicted Jupiter can also cause your will to be contested and/or your belongings to end up somewhere or with someone for whom you never intended.

Saturn in the Fourth House
Our favorite solar system bully, Saturn throws up obstacles and causes limitations wherever it appears in the natal chart. In the Fourth House of Home, the native probably felt unloved during childhood, whether or not they actually weren’t. They often don’t have a strong sense of ties to family because of instability in early family life, and it’s for that reason that this is another one that tends to move around a lot. Fourth House Saturn’s upbringing was probably fairly strict with rigid rules. A Fourth House Saturnian was likely forced to undertake adult responsibilities at a relatively young age, it’s most probable that their parents were either divorced or together and obviously miserable with one another. There are frequently negative family legacies related to racial issues or a country from which their ancestors hail. This is a person who doesn’t usually get settled in one place until midlife or later, as it takes them a while to establish roots anywhere. I have this Saturn placement, and while my parents were divorced when I was very young, my upbringing was not like anything that I would refer to as strict. I had clear boundaries (and often pushed them as far as possible, thanks to a rebellious Aries Sun) and though we only moved once during my childhood, I have been a frequent mover since the first day I set out on my own. Which brings up another point: I became a mother for the first time at the age of 17, so while my peers were going to the prom and studying for their SATs, I was living with my now-deceased Sagittarius first hubby in a one-bedroom apartment, struggling to make ends meet while expecting a baby. I wouldn’t say I felt unloved during my childhood, but I definitely felt like I was a disappointment and the family’s proverbial black sheep…and I still feel that way to this day. This is primarily due to having a hypercritical Virgo father, for whom nothing I did was good enough (“well, that’s not bad, but if you woulda done this, it’d be better” — words spoken by him to a three year-old me, upon proudly presenting him with a picture I had colored for him. Yup. And there would be much more where that came from) and obvious sibling favoritism. But in case it needs to be said, even through all of that, if given the opportunity to do things differently, I wouldn’t change a thing.

Uranus in the Fourth House
Weirdo planet Uranus gives a native with an unusual nurturing style in the home. It’s expressed in unorthodox ways and doesn’t necessarily come naturally to the native. Because Uranus is a planet that resists being tied down, wanting to run off and do its own thing, the Fourth House Uranian probably bounces back and forth between being a loving caregiver and an aloof non-presence in the home, even if they are physically there. In fact, many Uranus-in-Fourth natives received this exact kind of nurturing during their own childhoods, and often didn’t receive enough emotional support. They really do have good intentions, however. There will be unusual, eccentric items in the home, quirky gadgets, and there will typically be something strange about the home itself. As astrologer Bob Marks pointed out, Jacques Cousteau had this placement and for all intents and purposes, he lived on a ship. Furthermore, I have a friend with this Uranus placement. His dream house goal? A tree house. I’m not kidding.

Neptune in the Fourth House
Neptune: ruler of Pisces, the nemesis Ascendant that rears its moody head and comes out to play far too often in my own life. Its presence often lisa052manifests as a “see what you want to see/hear what you want to hear” attitude in the affected area of the native’s life; in this case, in affairs dealing with home and family, and in the early and latter parts of life.  Neptune also rules the sea and in the Fourth House of Home, it inclines the individual to a preference of living near water. The native’s father is frequently the kind of guy that fell apart or was emotionally unavailable, especially when he was most needed. Ruler of drugs (both street and over-the-counter or prescription pharmaceuticals) and alcohol, Neptune can also give a tendency to a substance abuse problem when placed in the Fourth House, particularly when it is negatively aspected, and the individual’s father might have also had a struggle with this. Those who have this Neptune placement often feel that they don’t fit in with their family, that they are somehow different, and those with Neptune here are often adopted (Neptune rules places of restriction such as prisons and orphanages) or perhaps felt/feel they were/are so different from the rest of the family that surely they were adopted…even if they weren’t. When I think of someone who might have this placement, I think of fictional character Lisa Simpson from the hit Fox animated sitcom The Simpsons. Lisa is an incredibly studious, intelligent overachiever in stark contrast to her dimwitted father Homer and her underachieving (“and proud of it, man”) brother Bart. She tends to question everything and think differently than the rest of the family, including her mother Marge, on one occasion shunning the family’s Christian beliefs and becoming a Buddhist. Lisa is a doer rather than a talker, actively and loudly protesting a wide variety of causes, while everyone else in the family just kind of goes along with the proverbial flow (although once in a blue-haired moon, the others will take an active stance on an issue, but far less often than Lisa.)

Pluto in the Fourth House
This is the planet of death (both figuratively and literally) and regeneration. Changes. New beginnings. Pluto also covers power struggles and shows us the area which can help us heal when we are wounded. In the Fourth House of Home, the native is at their strongest and best able to recharge and unwind at — you guessed it — home. At the same time, there is the propensity for power struggles in the home, particularly between the native and a controlling or intense father/father figure. This often results in lingering resentment and a lot of emotional baggage with the native. Alternatively, depending on how it is aspected in the natal chart, Pluto in the Fourth House can give a father who is somehow not present during the native’s childhood, whether due to his abandonment of the family (a physical absence or emotional one) or even his actual physical death during the individual’s formative years. Each of my three children have this Pluto placement, and their father passed away from cancer when they were 11, 9, and 4 years of age. Furthermore, their stepfather was also lost to death, although they were 23, 21, and 16 when that happened. In any event, Pluto — planet of change in the Fourth House of Home and Family frequently indicates instability or some sort of ongoing upheaval affecting the entire family. On a lighter, more trivial note, it can give a native who likes to redecorate or change the surroundings in the home frequently.

The Third House: Texting And Talking And Trips…Oh My!

breakdownThey drank up the wine and they got to talking…
They now had more important things to say
And when the car broke down they started walking…
Where were they going without ever knowing the way? ~ Fastball, The Way

In this article, we’ll take an in-depth look at astrology’s Third House. Naturally ruled by airy, restless, communicative Gemini which is ruled by the airy, restless, communicative planet Mercury, it should come as no surprise that the Third House governs communication in all forms: written, verbal, email, text — including the cell phones we attach to ourselves like magnets and all its capabilities. Its placement tells us about how we tend to communicate as well as how adept we are at it. As discussed several times on the awesomely hilarious 1990s sitcom Seinfeld, it can reveal if you are — among other things — a high talker, a low talker, or a close talker. It can indicate if you are more of an observer than a commentator, or if you’re so annoyingly chatty that everyone silently (if you’re lucky) wishes you would shut the hell up already, and you would undoubtedly bring home the gold in the Talking Olympics.

Seinfeld's "close talker"

Seinfeld’s “close talker”

But communication isn’t the only focus of the Third House. This House also covers short trips (in astrology, these are trips that don’t require an overnight stay), relationships with any siblings you might have, how well (or not) you get along with your neighbors, and early education, as in your formative years as a wee tot in preschool and elementary school.

Just for fun, let’s say you’re looking at your natal chart, scratching your head in confusion because — gasp! — your Third House is empty, meaning it is completely devoid of any planets, asteroids, or nodes. Does this make you an uneducated, illiterate, kindergarten flunk-out mute? If you do in fact have siblings, does this indicate they are figments of your imagination and don’t actually exist? Are you destined to live in solitude on a desert island without neighbors? Will every short trip you embark upon be fraught with flat tires, blown head gaskets, fender-benders (or worse!), leaving you standing on the side of the road next to your disabled vehicle so frequently that the AAA operator recognizes your voice when you call for assistance?

Not. At. All. As I’ve previously mentioned, everyone’s chart will have a minimum of two empty Houses (ten planets and twelve Houses = textingyou do the math), and in all probability, you will have more than two vacant Houses. There are a few ways we can interpret an empty Third House. It might be that you’re not much of a conversationalist who doesn’t consider communication important enough to make it a priority, or maybe the other areas of focus of the Third House — short trips, early education, or relationships with siblings and/or neighbors — aren’t a major theme in your life. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Furthermore, we can look at which sign rules your chart’s Third House and that will give us at least some insight into how you handle such matters. For example, let’s assume Aquarius is your chart’s Third House ruler. Aquarius is an easy-breezy, go-with-the-flow air sign with the enviable ability to easily adapt to new situations and people from all walks of life. They’re also somewhat emotionally detached and tend to take matters of love more lightly than others. This being the hypothetical case, it would likely indicate that when it comes to communication, you are able to communicate easily with many different kinds of folks in any given situation. In romantic relationships, perhaps you don’t say “I love you” too often…at least not verbally. These are only a few of several possibilities, as what it specifically means depends on many other factors and aspects in your chart.

But for those of us who do have planets in the Third House, let’s examine how each one’s placement affects you.

siblingrivalrySun in the Third House
A Third House Sun native is someone who craves attention for the way they communicate. They’re pretty proud of their speaking and/or writing style, which probably is quite witty, and they’ll let you know about it. This person is extraordinarily ambitious and uses their strong communication skills as a tool when meeting influential people, hoping it will give rise to an opportunity of some kind, perhaps to climb the elite social ladder but more likely the career ladder to eventual business success.  The Third House Sun probably began talking earlier than most children, has an extensive, well-developed vocabulary, and many of them are fluent in two or more languages. If the native has a sibling or siblings, there is definitely rivalry with at least one of them due to the sibling being a show-off or attention whore. This individual is generally quite restless and loves spontaneous short trips.

Moon in the Third House
When the sensitive Moon is in the Third House of communication, it is virtually guaranteed that the individual with this placement will have no trouble sharing their feelings. In fact, they might tend to share too much, often becoming hyper-emotional when doing so. The lesson here is for the native to realize that although communicating their emotions is a wonderful thing, there is such a thing as TMI. They need to learn that they don’t have to share everything. This one particularly enjoys reminiscing about the past, as the Moon is highly sentimental, and if they have a sibling or siblings, one of them will either be a Cancer or have Cancer-like traits (prone to moodiness, easily offended, nurturing.) The Third House Moon individual usually has a very good memory and enjoys trips to places of which they have fond memories. Others feel comfortable opening up to this person because they are so open themselves and frequently have valuable insight to offer.

NOTHING deters Clark Griswold!

NOTHING deters Clark Griswold!

Mercury in the Third House
Ohhhh boy. Mercury, the planet of communication, rules Gemini, the sign of communication, which is the natural ruler of the Third House, and this is tantamount to one hell of a talkative native, and if they have a sibling or siblings, one of them will be equally chatty. Ironically, the native might experience difficulties communicating with any siblings. Communication skills in this one are highly developed and the chances for a successful career in writing, publishing, journalism, speaking, traveling, or anything else involving communication or trips is excellent. Mercury is restless, and a Third House Mercurian loves, loves, loves traveling and seizes any opportunity to do so, yet they tend to take impulsive detours while en route to their eventual destination. To illustrate this, do you remember the movie National Lampoon’s Vacation? Sure you do, unless you’ve been living in a cave somewhere deep in the bowels of the earth.  Anyway, in this classic comedy, Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) is hauling his brood cross-country to their eventual destination, Wally World. In the meantime during their extended road trip, Clark constantly wants to stop at cheesy, touristy places like “the house of mud” or “the world’s largest ball of twine which is only four short hours away, muahaha,” much to the chagrin of his wife and kids who just want to get to Wally World already. If he were an actual person, good ol’ Clark Griswold would probably have this Mercury placement. The native’s mental energy can be somewhat scattered due to a wide variety of interests; therefore, they usually know a little about everything but not a lot about anything. A Third House Mercurian is extremely analytical yet quick to make decisions. Depending on other chart aspects and influences, this one is sometimes prone to speeding tickets or other relatively minor brushes with the law.

Venus in the Third House
A Third House Venusian is often an intriguing, persuasive communicator who, in affairs of the heart, can let their partner’s less-than-stellar looks slide in exchange for truly good, quality conversation and exchange of ideas. In fact, if a potential love interest can’t communicate interestingly, well, and often, that’s a deal breaker for the native. This is a person who likely changes addresses frequently, and if they have a sibling or siblings, one of them will likely be involved in artistic pursuits. Oftentimes, the native will meet a significant other or spouse through a sibling. A Third House Venusian loves all forms of communication, and they have an uncanny knack for expressing themselves beautifully, painting a virtual picture for others when describing a situation or telling a story. I have this Venus placement (and no, that is not why I described all those lovely Third House Venusian traits!) and when I was in the third grade and had completed a creative writing assignment, my teacher told me, “You are going to be an author one day, little lady!” I never took that too seriously; I thought she was saying that because she was my teacher and it was just one of those things she had to say. Today at age 41, I’m not an author, but writing has always been one of my lifelong passions and (half-assed) pursuits and I would love nothing more than to do it professionally…but for now, this blog you’re reading is pretty much it (unless you count one letter to the editor of a popular women’s magazine that was published and two articles I wrote in my high school journalism class for the yearbook, which I don’t.) I’m also infamous for moving a lot (just ask my kids about growing up with their gypsy-ish mother.) Other points of interest relating to siblings: one of my sisters has a degree in art history and is an unbelievably talented interior decorator (though not professionally…but she could be if she wanted to.) Furthermore, I met my first husband, a now-deceased Sadge who is the father of my three now-adult children, through my also now-deceased lifelong best friend, who was more like a sister to me than my own biological sisters were, and as a result she became my sister in-law. Does “sister-like” count? Yeah. I think it does.

Mars in the Third Housespeakwithoutthinking
Mars is the planet of aggression and assertiveness, and believe me when I tell you, this is a person who will speak without thinking. Things reflexively fly right out of their mouths unfiltered and unedited, their diarrhea of the mouth often (unintentionally) causing hurt feelings. This one says what they mean and means what they say…well, sometimes they mean it. They have a razor-sharp tongue and know exactly what to say to cut the object of their aggression to the quick, whether there is any truth behind it or not. When there’s not, they experience quite a bit of regret after the fact, but it’s difficult — though not unheard of — for them to apologize for their words. If they have any siblings, one of them likely has an aggressive nature. The native is impulsive and likes to take spontaneous road trips. This is a very knowledgeable individual and they love few things more than sharing everything they know with anyone within earshot. A Third House Martian loves a good debate but they have a tendency to get fired up over trivialities. They are so confident in their convictions that they might be perceived as arrogant. The lesson for the native here is to recognize this when it happens and try to dial it down a notch.

Glen (Sam McMurray, left) in Raising Arizona: Third House Jupiter poster boy

Glen (Sam McMurray, left) in Raising Arizona: Third House Jupiter poster boy

Jupiter in the Third House
The planet of abundance in the Third House of communication = obviously, abundant communication. In fact, sometimes the native doesn’t understand when to stop communicating. They will tell you things which you probably could have happily gone the rest of your life without knowing. This is similar to the Third House Moon and their TMI problem, but that one is more of an over-communicator when it comes to emotions and feelings, while the Third House Jupiter native communicates about anything and everything. When imagine a person with this Jupiter placement, I am reminded of a scene from the 1987 comedy Raising Arizona in which H.I. (Nicolas Cage) is walking in the desert with his boss Glen (Sam McMurray), the poster boy for Jupiter in the Third House (“say, that reminds me!” — that guy), and who just will not shut up already, and finally gets a well-deserved punch in the face. In any event, this one is forward-thinking and loves to plan ahead. They are curious about what others think and love to bounce their ideas off other folks, and people will turn to them for advice on just about anything. This is a cheerful, upbeat, positive individual; so much so in fact, that even when they’re in a foul mood, they are able to disguise it like a pro.

Saturn in the Third House
The schoolyard bully of planets is back, placing obstacles in the path of those with this Saturn placement. Third House Saturnians are often perceived as cold or reserved, as they don’t always say much. Social situations where communication is required can cause them to feel uncomfortable. However, because the native doesn’t always say much, they tend to be great listeners. And it’s not that the individual wants to feel this way, not at all!  It’s that damn Saturn influence, sapping the native’s confidence and increasing feelings of vulnerability. Public speaking? Fuhgeddaboudit! But because Third House Saturn is quiet, they are able to develop keen observational skills which can lead to success, preferably working behind the scenes in careers such as journalism and science. The native is disciplined and organized, and they find talkative, unorganized folks annoying. The native likely felt discouraged from speaking out in childhood, perhaps because the parents deemed certain subjects as taboo. If they have a sibling or siblings, the native probably felt as though they were forever in their shadow and perhaps were even picked on by them. As far as traveling is concerned, the Third House Saturnian probably has had more than their fair share of trip-related calamities including flat tires, fender-benders, running out of gas, blown fan belts, and pretty much anything else you can think of that could leave them stranded and delay travel plans. Take my advice: if you have this Saturn placement, you need a AAA membership. If you don’t already have one, get one. Today. It’s not a matter of if you’ll ever need it, it’s when. You will.

Uranus in the Third House
The planet of all things unorthodox and downright strange in the Third House of communication gives us a native who gets a kick out of saying or writing things for shock value. Others typically perceive the individual as crazy or eccentric but in actuality, the Third House Uranian is borderline genius (as the saying goes, there’s a fine line between genius and madness!) This person is wickedly funny and witty, and if you are in their company, you will never be bored. They’ll keep you on your toes because you can expect the unexpected to come out of their mouths at any given moment in any given situation. You are an honest communicator, which some people appreciate while others are annoyed by it. Your childhood was probably quite different from those of your peers, and if you have a sibling or siblings, one of them is probably at least as eccentric as you are. When traveling, you have a tendency to encounter stranger-than-fiction situations that couldn’t possibly be fabricated. You are the one who comes home with some ridiculous, yet true story that usually begins with something along the lines of “you’re never gonna believe this!”

dontspeakIt looks as though you’re letting go…
And if it’s real, well I don’t want to know
Don’t speak, I know what you’re thinking…
I don’t need your reasons
Don’t tell me ’cause it hurts. ~ No Doubt, Don’t Speak

Neptune in the Third House
Damn Neptune, the planet of illusions, strikes again with its rose-colored glasses, this time in the Third House of communications, where its effect on the native is to discourage them from facing uncomfortable truths head-on and hearing only what they want to hear. Actually, the Third House Neptunian hears what you’re saying just fine, but they avoid fully absorbing it at all costs, particularly if it’s painful. Why? Because that might hurt. This dreamy native is notorious for being habitually late for just about everything and even forgetting dates or appointments altogether. However, the individual is a charming, creative communicator with a brilliant imagination and they can find great success in endeavors such as the arts, journalism or writing, and even the theater or acting. If they have a sibling or siblings, it’s likely that one of them is somewhat scatterbrained and/or has a problem with substance abuse. There might have been difficulties with school in early childhood, not because of any kind of learning disability, but because the native’s head is so often in the clouds that it’s hard to keep their attention on one thing, especially if it isn’t intriguing or interesting to them. This is a highly intuitive individual with uncanny insight and this can bring comfort to others when they need it most. When taking trips, the native has a tendency to get lost easily. My suggestion, if you don’t already have one? Get yourself a GPS, immediately if not sooner.

beggingReason will not reach a solution, I will end up lost in confusion…
I don’t care if you don’t really care as long as you don’t go
So I cry, I pray, and I beg…
Love me, love me, say that you love me…
Fool me, fool me, go on and fool me
Love me, love me, pretend that you love me…
Leave me, leave me, just say that you need me. ~ The Cardigans, Lovefool

Pluto in the Third House
Remember, Pluto is the planet of extreme highs and lows. The bipolar planet, if you will. In the Third House of communication, its effect is plutothirdhousethe same: all or nothing. There’s no happy medium here. When a Third House Pluto communicates, it’s either extremely informative, encouraging, helpful, or otherwise positive or it’s extremely harsh, cruel, hurtful, or otherwise negative. Nothing whatsoever in-between. If the individual has a sibling or siblings, the relationships with them are either very loving or very volatile and rocky. When the native develops an interest in someone or something, regardless of what or who it is, it can quickly become an unhealthy obsession. When this one goes on a trip, everything is either 100 percent smooth sailing, or nearly everything that can go wrong does go wrong. All this aside, Third House Plutonians are powerful, persuasive communicators who tend to challenge others’ ways of thinking and they make fantastic salespeople or even motivational speakers.

The Second House: For The Love Of Money


Rollin’ down the street, smokin’ endo
Sippin’ on gin and juice…laid back
With my mind on my money and my money on my mind.

~ Snoop Dogg, Gin & Juice

I love the Second House. Not because I’m a shallow, materialistic snob. Rather, it’s because when I look at someone else’s chart, it reveals who is.

This is the House that explores our attitudes and feelings toward all things related to money and possessions, and gains and losses of both: our ability to save money (or lack thereof), how easily we tend to earn it (including you lucky bastards who always seemingly have it drop right into your laps), the ways in which we spend it — be it on a car, a home, a loaf of bread at the grocery store, gazillion-carat things of bling with which we proudly adorn our fingers, ears, necks, and/or other body parts, and pretty much anything else that money can buy. It also covers anything of personal value, be it a family heirloom that is worth no money whatsoever but is highly sentimental to you, your self-worth as an individual, and your sense of security.


I need a reminder, something I can see
Something on my finger, shines so brightly…
Don’t you know, diamonds are a girl’s best friend
When you go, they stay with me until the end.

~ Janet Jackson, Diamonds

Taurus is the second sign of the zodiac, thereby being the natural ruler of the Second House. As you will recall, Taurus is ruled by Venus, planet of beauty, pleasure, love, and luxury; therefore the Bull, fittingly, is the sign of possessions, creature comforts, and financial security, which is oh-so-important to them. Yes, it’s important to most folks, but to a Taurean, it can become a full-blown obsession; the be-all, end-all of their existence. The appropriate, though stereotypical metaphor here, would be the mattress stuffed with and/or lined with cash. If you ever come across one, chances are, it belongs to a Bull. Well, that’s not entirely true: it could also belong to a thrifty Virgo or an equally money-hungry Capricorn (both of which, like the Bull, are earth signs.)

The planets which are placed in your Second House will clue us in to how you handle all of the above matters concerning finances, possessions, and even your own self-worth. We’ll take a look at what each planet’s placement in the Second House means in just a moment, but first, you might recall that as I explained in my article on the First House, it’s also entirely possible that you have no planets in the Second House. After all, there are twelve Houses and ten planets (in astrology, the Sun and Moon count as planets), so everyone will have at least two vacant Houses in their chart…and probably even more than two.

So what does it mean if your Second House is empty, meaning it is void of any planets, nodes, or asteroids…just the faint sounds of chirping crickets or the occasional tumbleweed blowing by? Does this mean you are destined to a life of poverty, living in a tattered cardboard box under a bridge, and the apparent collective decision of every company on the planet to deny you employment?

No worries, dear reader. An empty Second House can be interpreted in many ways, including by taking a look at the zodiac sign that rules the Second House in your chart: we would examine that sign’s qualities which would shed some light on how you approach money matters. For example, let’s say Aries rules your empty Second House. Aries is impulsive and impatient, yet also quite generous, which tells us you probably spend money like it has a limited shelf life and make a lot of impulse purchases. An empty Second House could also mean finances simply aren’t one of the main focuses of your life; not that money is unimportant to you, but your world doesn’t revolve around your bank account balance. It can sometimes indicate that you are clueless when it comes to investing and managing your money. Or it’s possible that you are so flush with cash that you simply have no reason to concern yourself with financial struggles, ever. (If this is true in your case, I hate you.)

But for now, let’s take a look at the interpretations of each planet when placed in the Second House.

Sun in the Second House
A person whose Sun placement is in the Second House is often inclined to spend money to make themselves feel better. This is the person who is depressed and in an effort to cheer themselves up, they head to the mall and fling around the credit cards, buying all kinds of goodies which, although it lifts their spirits for a short time, ultimately results in buyer’s remorse for blowing cash or running up credit card bills for loads of crap they really don’t need or even want and probably will never use, ironically resulting in more depression…and round and round we go in a vicious buying cycle. The native is usually somewhat stubborn when it comes to how money is spent. A Second House Sun takes great pride in showing off all of the awesome stuff they’ve bought; they are the infamous Joneses with which others try to keep up. Depending on other aspects in your chart, the Sun’s placement here can result in others taking advantage of you because you make no secret about how much money you have and you will usually freely hand it out to a friend or family member in need. Furthermore, the Second House Sun native is known for making extravagant purchases (even if they can’t really afford it) in an effort to keep up appearances, because they are very conscious and concerned about how others see them.

hoardersMoon in the Second House
When the sensitive Moon is in the Second House, the native’s sense of emotional security is directly related to how much money they have (or haven’t) accumulated. The Moon is a nurturing planet and the Second House Moon individual can frequently be found spending money on those they care for, often putting their own needs on the back burner indefinitely (ain’t that sweet and oh-so-admirable, but not particularly healthy.) The thing with the Moon, however, is that in the same way it controls the ebb and flow of the oceans’ tides, it causes the native’s income and financial resources to do likewise: there will be times when money comes in with great ease with what seems like no effort at all, and at the other end of the spectrum there will be times that are so financially difficult that they could literally find themselves on the verge of homelessness. A Second House Moon native is prone to overeating in response to money problems and due to this, they often struggle with weight problems, the numbers on the scale yo-yo’ing up and down, essentially serving as a barometer of their current financial status. The native has a tendency toward hoarding and places tremendous sentimental value on almost everything. It is disturbing to them to get rid of anything, even if it’s a closet full of clothes that are six sizes too small and haven’t fit since their high school days thirty years ago, are beyond out of style, because “what if they come back in style and I lose weight and can wear them again?” My mother in-law, God bless her, has this Moon placement and she is a bonafide hoarder…and she knows it. While cleaning out her garage, I once came across several boxes of mail-order catalogs that were nearly twenty years old. Figuring they were beyond worthless except maybe as kindling, I dutifully started carting them to the Dumpster (what was I thinking?) when she shrieked in a panic, “No, no, no…I need to keep those; they could be worth money someday!” I nearly bit my tongue in half to stop from asking, “Worth money to who?!” as I dragged the dusty old boxes back into the garage, knowing full well that if I were to secretly toss those same boxes another time when she wasn’t around, she would never miss them. (Note: I didn’t. Ohhhh, I wanted to. But I didn’t.)

Mercury in the Second House
If Mercury is in your Second House, a hat tip to you, O Wise One. Not only are you incredibly intelligent, you are all about continuing education, seeking to gain as much knowledge as your massive cranium can possibly absorb because to you, that is the key to climbing the ladder of success to monetary gain. You’re a very adept communicator with a quick, agile mind and this serves you beautifully in any money-making endeavor of your choosing. Your financial decisions are cerebral and rational, not at all emotional. Although your exceptional communication skills play a huge role in your success, it’s also likely that you are a whiz with numbers and many Second House Mercurians are accountants, bookkeepers, or otherwise in finance-related careers. The dark side to all this is that the native often has no qualms about stepping on toes and leapfrogging their way to the top, which can understandably result in resentment toward them by those folks whose toes Second House Mercury stepped on to get ahead. Additionally, the native might find themselves saddled with an unhealthy obsession with money and possessions.

Venus in the Second House
As I mentioned previously, Venus is the ruler of Taurus, and Taurus is the natural ruler of the Second House; therefore, a Venus Second parishiltonHouse placement is very favorable to the native (for the most part.) The Second House Venusian has an eye for beauty and value, and these individuals usually have some kind of collection: possibly antiques or art, but whatever it is, is typically something involving beauty. The native is often (accurately) perceived by others as a high-maintenance individual, due to their taste for elegance and their demand of high quality in everything from food and drink to furniture and decor. They want a partner to lavish them with extravagant gifts and are quite materialistic. This isn’t to say that if you have this Venus placement, you are a shallow, self-absorbed douche with no capability of feelings or love for others. It just means that you don’t settle for less than what — or who — you consider to be anything less than the best. Unless there are negative aspects in the chart, the Second House Venusian probably won’t have too much difficulty with finances, and they frequently are either born into money or marry into it. You know Paris Hilton, who has done absolutely nothing to warrant being famous (but plenty to warrant being infamous) other than being born into the family of an uber-wealthy hotel magnate? Yeah. She’s got this Venus placement. ‘Nuff said.

Mars in the Second House
Mars is an impulsive, go-go-go, action planet which translates to a Second House Mars native having a marked tendency toward spending money waaaay too freely, and who cares if it’s their last dollar because the good news for this individual is that they won’t have too much difficulty attaining more money. However, the bad news is that because of the aforementioned impulsive spending habits, the money is usually gone as quickly as it came. The native spends with a free hand, the cash flow is always moving, and in all likelihood you won’t find a Second House Martian with a fat savings account: they spend money before they have a chance to even consider saving a dime of it. This is a generous individual who loves to pick up the check and if there is something they want that they’ve got their Second House Martian eye on, they are stubborn enough to figure out how to make it happen, come hell or high water, regardless of their current financial state. The native is one helluva hard worker and highly money-motivated, though they’re also quite careless with possessions. While money does seem to come to them relatively easily, they usually won’t accumulate wealth because of that inability to save. If you have a parent with this Mars placement, you probably shouldn’t expect a massive inheritance upon their demise. The more likely scenario is that you will inherit their massive debt.

luckyjupiterJupiter in the Second House
Remember the earlier article where I explained that Jupiter is the planet of luck and abundance? Well, that’s true: it is. However, when Jupiter’s placement is in the Second House of money and possessions, it doesn’t necessarily have the effect one might naturally assume it would have — which would be an abundance of money and/or possessions. The problem here is that in whichever House Jupiter is placed in the natal chart is where the native feels lucky; hence, these folks tend to push their financial luck, taking chances with money, such as in gambling and questionable investments, and ultimately losing out. Sounds counterintuitive, doesn’t it? But it’s the harsh truth…sometimes…particularly if Jupiter is somehow negatively aspected in the native’s chart. Fortunately, more often, a Second House Jupiter individual accumulates significant wealth over their lifetime and they will find that money comes in so easily it’s as if it just drops right out of the sky and into their lucky little hands. Like a Second House Venusian, a Second House Jupiter native has extravagant taste and they can grow so accustomed to being able to stroll out to the money tree in their backyard that they behave like tantrum-throwing toddlers having snot-blowing fits during those times when things don’t work out that way.

Saturn in the Second House
Notorious for being the planet that throws obstacles in our paths at every turn, Saturn is kind of like the schoolyard bully who beats you up, gives you a wedgie, and steals your lunch money. When its placement is in the Second House of money and possessions, our first instinct is to assume that the native will experience a plethora of difficulties, obstacles, and terrible luck in financial matters. And while that’s not necessarily wrong, another likely result of this Second House placement is for the native to be particularly cautious and take fewer risks because they don’t feel lucky, unlike its Jupiter neighbor, which could mean the Second House Saturnian comes out ahead financially. And again, like we discussed previously about Second House Jupiter, it sounds counterintuitive but it’s nevertheless true. That said, the native here might not accumulate vast wealth because of their reluctance to taking risks, but at least they are cautious enough to avoid iffy investments, gambling, and the like, which ensures their financial affairs will at least remain steady. Saturn’s lesson for the native here is to recognize their tendency toward pessimism and learn to take more chances. This isn’t to say they should throw caution to the wind and invest their money willy-nilly, it just means the individual should up the ante a notch. A common problem with Second House Saturnians is that even when the native manages to overcome the obstacles and attain financial security and/or the material possessions they need and desire, Saturn’s pessimistic influence causes them to continue to feel like it’s still not enough. If the individual recognizes the tendency toward that way of thinking, they’ve won half the battle.

uranusUranus in the Second House
Uranus is the planet of eccentricity, the unusual, the unorthodox, and the straight-up weird. When its placement is in the Second House of money and possessions, all those characteristics apply. A Second House Uranian probably has an unusual career or source of income and they are often self-employed. That income can fluctuate wildly, so it’s frequently feast or famine with this placement. A person with this Uranus placement tends to get fired more than most folks as well. It’s also interesting to note that bizarre things often happen surrounding the native’s job or their place of employment. I mean, really unusual things such as national headline-making gossip about the company like the CEO claiming to have been abducted by aliens, or the building in which they work being destroyed in some way. Several celebrities have this Uranus placement. I have an Aquarian friend with this placement who is self-employed and for months at a time the work and the money just rolls in, literally hundreds of dollars a day, and then there will be stretches where there’s zero business, thus zero dollars a day, also for months at a time. Additionally, he always has a “you’ll never believe what happened today!” work-related story, which are quite common with most Second House Uranians. Many people with this placement don’t work a typical Monday through Friday, 9-to-5 job. Change is a constant when it comes to finances, sources of income, and employment with the native.

Neptune in the Second House
Here’s that damn Neptune again, ruler of Pisces, which as you surely remember is the Ascendant that causes me so much grief with its rose-colored glasses and hearing and seeing only what one wishes to hear and see. When Neptune is in the Second House of money and possessions, this is indicative of someone who tends to close their eyes to financial matters. Got a cut-off notice for your electricity or water? Eh, toss it to the side, cross your fingers, hope it all works out somehow, and put it out of your mind…til the electricity suddenly goes out mid-TV show or the water shuts off mid-shower, hair lathered with shampoo. Bank threatening to repo your vehicle? Nah, we’ll figure something out. Then you wake up one morning to head to work or the grocery store or wherever the day might take you…and guess what? Your car is gone. Clearly, this “lalalala-I can’t hear you-lalalala” attitude can cause a world of regret. The (difficult) lesson here is to face possible financial issues head-on from the get-go. This can literally be frightening for a Second House Neptune native, but life will be infinitely easier if this lesson can be mastered…even if it takes months or years to do so. However, it is possible that if Neptune is in a “good position” in the Second House, it can give the attitude that the native is wealthy, regardless of what they do or don’t actually have in monetary or material assets. And that’s a great thing! Because Neptune is the planet of artistic creativity, the dreamer, the poet, as well as medication, drugs and alcohol, the Second House Neptune could see income from anything running the gamut from crafts to paintings to books of poetry, songwriting, bartending, nursing or other medical careers, pharmaceuticals, or yup — even drug-dealing. But as one of my favorite astrologers, Bob Marks, reminds us, Neptune also rules prison (be it a self-imposed mental prison or a literal prison, as in correctional facilities.) So make sure things stay on the up and up if your career path takes you down the pharmaceutical or drug route.

Pluto in the Second Houseplutosecondhouse
Pluto is the planet of extreme highs and lows. If Pluto were a person, it would be diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Wherever we find it placed in a natal chart is often indicative of the focus of some obsession. In the Second House, the native can easily become transfixed on finances and material goods. Alternatively, the individual could find themselves at the complete opposite end of the spectrum and have the attitude that money and belongings are worthless. However, this one does place great importance on standing on their own two feet and will frequently resist financial assistance from others (doesn’t mean they will refuse it, but they will resist it.) Depending on other Pluto aspects in the chart, the native might find either they have incredibly good fortune with financial resources or the exact opposite: the proverbial rug is yanked out from under them with little or no warning (such as with sudden losses in the stock market, or even their home — and everything in it — being destroyed.) Pluto is the natural ruler of the Twelfth House, which covers secrets, sorrow, and self-undoing. Therefore, the native could be the creator of their own financial downfall, usually quite unintentionally. On the secret side, however, the Second House Pluto native might experience the good fortune of finding or uncovering hidden or unknown money or resources, such as a distant relative passing away and — surprise! — Second House Pluto receives an unexpected inheritance, which they very well likely might just blow right through on whatever strikes their fancy at the moment, finding themselves once again at a financial low, which illustrates the first point: the planet of extreme highs and lows.